Astonishingly, amidst all the downed infrastructure, we got a brief message from him Saturday afternoon, then another one this morning asking us to call him, as he had permission to call family. We did so, and here is a summary of his report, to the best of my memory.

Reality “On the Ground” the First Night

Elder Jason Crenshaw and his missionary companion, Elder Mark Roberts, were awakened by the shaking around 3:30 am and immediately ran outside their one-story cement-based home. Standing was impossible. They sat on the ground, which shook side-to-side and then in circular motion, but not up-and-down. It seemed to him that the worst shaking lasted 5 minutes, but then it continued at a lesser intensity, nonstop, for a total of around 33 minutes.

During it all, the earth made deep groaning noises, and repeatedly made a sound: “like a dog makes when it half-barks and half-bites you; imagine that sound, only being made by a huge monster, over and over.”

When the initial shaking subsided, they looked around, and their newer, concrete structures were unaffected, so they mostly felt amazement at what they had experienced. They then began searching through the city of Talca. Their amazement turned to distress as they realized that the numerous adobe buildings had collapsed, burying people and belongings. People lay dead in the streets. The city center had, indeed collapsed as reported by the news. I reassured him that it was largely uninhabited, because they were business buildings (as the news reported), but he corrected me. “Every one of those businesses had a home on top of it.” He said that initial reports were that at least 170 people had died when the city center buildings fell.

The First Day, Unrest Begins

That first night was a distressing, but the next day, hunger began setting in among the residents and looting spread. “Crime has skyrocketed: violent crime, non-violent crime, petty crime. People are breaking into buildings and looting them whether or not anyone lives there.” Helping others unbury their houses was difficult because of the non-stop aftershocks, 15 of which were huge magnitude 7.0+ earthquakes [he probably meant 6.0] in their own right in the 50-60 hours since that first shock. This has made it difficult and dangerous to sift through rubble to find or help people.

Their own home was undamaged, so they opened it up to someone who lost his house, and were planning on going to help him sift through the rubble for anything useful as soon as it was safe enough to venture in. “We hope nobody has looted his house yet.”

The Second Night

By nightfall, the looting became serious. They could hear shouts, “a few gun shots,” tumult, and clashes. “Fifty alarms were going non-stop from stores, banks, cars, and other places.” “It sounded like a war.” Their now-homeless friend, sharing their home, had been in war, and he said this was a good analogy, but with one difference. “In war, you know that when you cross a certain line or reach a certain place, you are safe. Here, that isn’t true.”

“Nobody has slept here in two days,” he said. “It’s impossible with all the noise, tumult, and aftershocks.” “It seems like there are more aftershocks at night than during the day.”

Current Status and Concerns

Jason assured us that they are all right, the local Church members are diligently watching out for them. We reassured him that all LDS missionaries are accounted for and safe. This was news to him, and he welcomed it because he was concerned about one of his former companions in particular.

He was most concerned about Dichato, where he had served before, because he was sure that the high ground where they usually run wasn’t high enough for this tsunami, Dichato is built on a bay, which concentrates and magnifies the height of the waves. “A very reliable source” in Chile indicated that a 40-foot tourist attraction rock in another city, Constitucion, was washed over by the tsunami. That source (a local radio station that does not broadcast reports until verified) also mentioned that the sea town of Constitucion had been wiped out. The station had sent someone to drive there and survey the damage directly before issuing the report. Jason was hesitant to accept the official government figures of deaths and destruction, certain that officials were keeping the reports low to break bad news slowly.

Jason’s greatest concern was the current lack of food and fresh water for the city in general. The missionaries are mostly OK: they had been provisioned with a small-but-effective 200-gallon water purifier two months ago (“somebody clearly had some advance inspiration, because they gave us these at a Zone Conference”); LDS members were the best-prepared of the citizens, and the members watch over the missionaries zealously. However, the general lack of food was causing desperation and civil deterioration. He hopes that food and water are coming soon, or it is going to be a very bad situation. However, most north-south travel is cut off due to collapsed bridges and damaged roads, which was a great concern.

These are his feelings and reports, and what he is hearing there in the midst of everything. Regardless of the overall reality, uncertainty and fear among the people is a part of the calamity they are enduring. They need our prayers.

We will keep you posted as we learn more from him.

Our discussion started because of this tragic article (caution: some PG-13 content). Some people commented that not only was the bullying a problem, but Brodie’s handling of the bullying was a big issue. Who was watching out for her? Was she ever taught to be assertive? Why was she so emotionally vulnerable?

A Christ-Centered Response

My children did get some bullying in public schools, but they got detailed, careful training from me on how to handle it without resorting to bullying themselves or being stepped on too badly.

Where did I learn those skills? By being bullied myself in junior high and high school in public schools, and most importantly, by getting careful coaching from my father.

I was a year younger that the other kids, and young-looking anyway, and reasonably smart. Not a winning combination. My father was a 4th degree black belt, and he taught me some basic self defense, but that really wasn’t what helped me, at least not alone. The empowering principle for me was found in the teachings of Christ. My father taught me to defend myself a little bit (maybe), but then taught me that turning the other cheek was of paramount importance. He taught me that there are highly-specific, divine promises attached to obeying that commandment (some of which are specific to LDS doctrine as far as I know), and I sensed that he was right.

It was therefore a choice I made, a gift to the other person: “love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and … despitefully use you, and persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven.”  I always thought that phrase “the children of your Father” was just a nice way of saying “be like Him,” but I am now convinced it refers to much more than that: specific, precious blessings that are often overlooked but clearly promised.

Friends Instead of Enemies

During this time, a new kid showed up on the bus and (meanacingly) told me to tie his shoe for him, because I had untied it. I calmly told him that I hadn’t untied it, and I wouldn’t tie it for him, he could do it himself. He told me that if I didn’t tie it he was going to beat me up when I got off the bus. I declined respectfully, without cowering.

When I got off the bus, he got off too, and started to count to ten, loudly explaining that when he reached “10″ he was going to pulverize me. All the other kids were watching. I walked slowly and deliberately, at a normal pace, not responding to the threats. (All of this came from a combination of the above teaching by my father.) Finally, I heard him running closer and closer, but I held my course. Then the running stopped and I braced myself to be hit. Nothing happened, and I kept walking, not daring to look back.

A minute later I found him walking next to me. “What’s your name?” he asked. He said he was Scott, and he asked where I lived. I pointed vaguely in the direction of home. He said he lived that way too, he had just moved in, and he wondered if I played basketball. I said I did, but not very well. He then stunned me by inviting me to his house to shoot hoops with him. That was the start of a long and good friendship. (I just reconnected with Scott via social media after all these years.)

I am so glad I responded that way instead of choosing some other approach. Thank you, Dad!

So, in school, I was bullied a lot psychologically, but I learned to handle it, and today I’m actually grateful for it! (I learned to spot the underdog, to understand their feelings, and to reach out to help them out.)

I was only actually hit twice, and I deserved it both times (I had acted in a way that was inconsistent with the principles I had been taught by verbally assaulting the other person, so they retaliated). Several times I ended up being friends with the other kid. They were trying to fit in in the best way they knew how at the time. I’m betting they even totally forgot about their bullying over time.

Bullying and Harassment Even at Church?

My friend wanted to know especially about bullying at LDS schools. We really don’t have LDS denominational schools except at the college level, not in the US anyway, so I couldn’t help him much there. However, I have seen youth taunt each other at Church (it happened to my wife a lot growing up, and she didn’t attend for two years in part because of that).

As a leader, what do you do when youth harass each other at Church?

It’s simple. You have the responsibility to make sure that everyone feels safe at church, all the time. You cannot allow it to continue. Period.

And how to you do that without creating a bigger problem yourself? How do you intervene in a Christlike manner? It’s easier than it sounds when you have the right plan. I recommend these six steps:

1. Teach the principles. Principles and well-taught doctrines affect behavior more powerfully than rules.
2. Resolve to make sure the harassment stops. Decide right now that you are not going to let it continue, no matter what it takes.
3. Start small. Use the smallest possible bandage to cover the wound, no larger, no smaller, but the bleeding must stop. Simply stopping and looking at the offender may work at first, or stepping towards two people that are having a problem. Then back away if it has stopped.
4. Keep it positive, but escalate as needed. If it continues (that time or over days or weeks), escalate your intervention by stopping and saying their name gently. Wait until the misbehavior stops. Repeat as needed, and clarify the problem only if necessary. Remember: least effort possible, but it has to stop. Avoid embarrassing them if possible.
5. Never yield. The perpetrators must never get the reward from this behavior, so make sure, with iron resolve, that you don’t let them win at the game of intimidating others. This rule is absolute, so escalate as needed until the behavior stops.
6. Always keep your response Christlike. You can’t do the Lord’s work with Satan’s tools. While being firm, cover your steel hand liberally with velvet.

For the Strength of Youth teaches these standards clearly to the young people. This is a great resource to use as you emphasize this st Church:

Show interest in others and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Go out of your way to be a friend to those who are shy or do not feel included.

Use language that uplifts, encourages, and compliments others. Do not insult others or put them down, even in joking. Speak kindly and positively about others so you can fulfill the Lord’s commandment to love one another.

A Last-Ditch Escalation Example: When Things Get Really Bad

Even when things get really bad, you have options. My son got harassed mercilessly by one young man at Church that nobody knew how to deal with–leaders included. All the smaller escalations had failed to stop the problem.

My son finally begged me to let him punch the kid (something John had never done to anyone before), but I told him he couldn’t do that, it was inappropriate. John said: “Then what do I do! I can’t take this any more!!!” I could see in his eyes that he was telling the truth.

In a moment of (I think) true inspiration, I pointed out that the young man really liked WWF wrestling. John agreed. I pointed out that John had learned some real wrestling skills. “Ask that boy to stop. Tell him that he has to stop. Make sure you ask him, clearly and respectfully, at least three times. Then, if he doesn’t stop, do a takedown without hurting him or getting angry, pin him to the ground in front of everyone, and hold him there until he agrees to leave you alone.”

It wasn’t long before the whole scene played itself out. The kid flailed around wildly, to no avail. He could not get free. A lot of the youth were watching. The young man was mortified, but he finally agreed to leave John alone, and John let him up. That boy never, ever bothered John again, and they didn’t become enemies.

On its official www.lds.org web site, a letter from the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints requested the “best efforts” of Church members to support the marriage protection amendment in California. Such a statement is unusual for the LDS Church, which recognizes this as a serious moral, non-political issue:

“We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time to assure that marriage in California is legally defined as being between a man and a woman. Our best efforts are required to preserve the sacred institution of marriage.”
(http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/california-and-same-sex-marriage)

The letter was read only to California congregations, but it doesn’t specifically limit the request to them; it appears on the LDS web site for anyone to read and consider. (See DC 58:27-8.)

What happens in California affects the entire US. For that reason, a few large, out-of-state donors are heavily funding the effort to make same-sex marriage the law in California. By contrast, protecting marriage is more of a grass roots effort. See yesterday’s AP news article:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/gay_marriage_money

I can’t sit idly by and watch this happen. However, as a non-Californian I wasn’t sure how to help until now.

What You Can Do

You do not need to be a California resident to make a big difference.

As I’ve analyzed this, I conclude that we must act NOW, in the next 2 or 3 days. I personally recommend the following:

1) Forward this email or blog link NOW and/or call anyone who may appreciate the LDS Church’s stand on this issue.

2) Contribute what you can NOW, even just $10 (the cost of a meal or two), at www.ProtectMarriage.com so they can finish their TV ad campaign. We only have a few days, and it all comes down to good communication. The Protect Marriage ads correct blatant falsehoods advertised by the other side that create confusion, and confusion recently defeated Arizona’s initiative. Pay no heed to smiling promises—in the end, it doesn’t matter who said or promised what—only the actual votes and laws matter. Schools must uphold and actively teach the laws. Period. (ProtectMarriage.com is officially promoted by many organizations and denominations including the LDS Church.)

3) Pray for the people of California to clearly understand the long-term consequences of the choice before them.

Additional Resources

This is a serious legal, religious, and societal threat, not an issue of personal agency or discrimination. See:

“Protecting Marriage to Protect Children” (LA Times, liberal viewpoint, Sept 2008)
“When Gay Rights and Religious Liberties Clash” (May 2008)
“Banned in Boston” (2006, very scholarly, note the last page)

See also these excellent resources, including links in the the right-hand margin:
http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-divine-institution-of-marriage

Please don’t let this email sit in your Inbox.

Kevin Crenshaw
From My Blog: www.everygoodthing.net

My father has a great command of words as well as ideas, which made for quick, memorable lessons. I remember many of these, but my favorite (which I’ve shared with others many times) is the “Parable of the Teargas Grenade.” Perhaps this was most meaningful because it was true, funny, and applied to my situation with laser-targeted accuracy.

As I prepared to leave for my mission, I found I had an extra $1500 sitting in a low-interest bank account and wondered if I should invest it somewhere. But what would give the best return with low risk? I quickly thought of diamonds. What a great idea! They were appreciating steadily at 10% per year, and a diamond for an engagement ring was sure to come in handy sometime after my missionary service.

I shared these thoughts with my father. He sat quietly for a few moments, thinking, displaying no visible reaction. Then he spoke:

When I was in the military in basic training, somehow I got hold of a teargas grenade. And because I had it, I was dying to use it. The first chance I had I pulled the pin, and I cried a lot. I cried a lot more than I would have if I’d waited for a better opportunity.

That was it.

I didn’t buy the diamond.

On this Father’s Day, I remember you and all you taught me, Dad, and I express my deep appreciation for your timely and appropriate insights. I try to do the same in my family now. Some of my lessons are original, but some I just pass along at the right time, from you to them.

Happy Fathers Day!

Michael didn’t really have Internet access until KidZui. Why? Our old filtering solution was good but not perfect. I’ve since discovered K9, which is iron-clad and free. (Read my review here.) Nevertheless, K9 doesn’t provide any kind of starting point or home page for young surfers. KidZui fixes that problem and is easy to install, so I let Michael put it through its paces. Here is his expert opinion.

Michael (Age 6): 5 out of 5 Stars

Michael says: “I really do like KidZui. There’s lots of fun stuff to do. Like games. I can’t resist wanting to do it all the time. Games, games, games. I really want to keep it so I can find that pool game again.”

Hmmm.

I asked: “Is it just the games?”

“Yes. I mean no. Also the web sites, and the TV. You can watch the TV episodes like Super Why.”

In case you aren’t in the know, Super Why is a PBS Kids animated television series and website that teaches reading skills to children ages 3-6, including alphabet, rhyming, etc.

Michael’s Dad: 4 out of 5 Stars

KidZui’s web sites, videos, pictures, and games seem to be 100% safe and in good taste. Each child creates their own “Zui” or online persona, and new users require parental email authorization. You enter the child’s age when you set up their account, and the content is customized accordingly. Well, sort of. The sites and videos for a child age 17 were probably more of interest to ages 8-12 in my opinion. Michael’s sites and videos were suitable for ages 4-10. KidZui definitely targets a younger set.

KidZui itself is colorful and flashy. Entertaining, but I was hoping for something more, well, educational. Fortunately, KidZui does let you limit what a child can access. Lock out games if you want. I’m hesitant to do that because my career introduction to computers came through games. Games do encourage basic computer skills.

Basic reading skills are needed for most KidZui games and prompts, so this could frustrate non-readers as well as their parents. When Michael first started using KidZui, he’d say “Dad, what do I do now?” Still, come to think of it, he doesn’t ask any more—he’s navigating like a pro. Hmmm. He learned something in those past 30 days…

Limiting Virtual Reality

When Michael says “I can’t resist,” it’s a concern to me. We’re training new, lifetime behaviors at this age. Church leaders have cautioned against excessive virtual reality and TV watching (limit to around two hours per day of “carefully selected content”) for solid reasons. See the articles for details.

Unfortunately, you cannot limit browsing time with KidZui 3.0. That’s all up to the parent. However, you do get a weekly report of Internet use via email.

Requirements and Glitches

KidZui 3.0 requires Windows and Internet Explorer 6 or later.

KidZui is an application, not a web site, and the installer and program were a tad restrictive for a power user. KidZui installed on only a single user on our multi-user computer (“Welcome” screen). I had real trouble copying the KidZui startup icon to any other user. Why is this important? If KidZui just installs for one user, than all access for all children must take place through a single Windows account. That doesn’t work in our home, where computer use is a privilege that can be given a “time out” by suspending their Windows login.

KidZui also loaded automatically every time Michael started his Windows user, and trying to switch to other applications would have frustrated even a seasoned hacker. (Ah, but I was victorious in the end! I found a back door!) Fortunately, this option can be configured from the Parental Controls, so you can have your way. Turning it on keeps your child (and you) from fiddling with other programs.

Lastly, the mouse kept freezing up on our computer when KidZui was running. (Workaround: unplug and plug in the mouse.) Is this KidZui or coincidence? I suspect KidZui isn’t playing nicely all the time.

Cost

Right now you can get KidZui as an “inaugural member” for half price ($4.95/month or $49.95 a year). That means that later, the normal monthly price will be around $9.95/month ($99.95/year). Still, KidZui is for all kids in the home, it relies on human-reviewed web sites, photos, and videos, and your children can use it from other computers anywhere KidZui is installed. At $4.95/month this is a good option for many. At $9.95/month, I’m less certain. What do you think?

The 30-day trial can be extended another 30 days if you recommend KidZui to three friends. We took them up on this offer while we decide KidZui’s fate in our home.

Alternatives?

1) Though I haven’t checked it out yet, there is another kid-safe browser, PikLuk. This one handles email too. It has a free version, but (and this is a big deal) it looks like you need to manually enter web sites you want your child to visit, and no provision is made for photos and videos. Here is someone else’s quick review:

How To Child-Proof The Internet For Your Kids

2) Another approach: Install K9, then point the child’s browser home page to a good starting page. Examples include:

Yahoo Kids

PBS Kids (TV-oriented; Michael could spell the site URL just from watching the shows)

Discovery Kids (more educational)

Kid Explorers (ChristianAnswers.Net educational home page for kids)

With this solution, you can use the K9 configuration panel to restrict categories (like games). However, you still cannot limit time on the computer or Internet this way.

Bottom Line: 4-1/2 Out of 5 Stars (for the Right Age Group)

From a safety and ease-of-setup standpoint, I recommend KidZui for households with children ages 4 to 11. Your kids will learn basic computer skills while you do other things. Get it while it’s $4.95/month and make sure it works well for you. If you want controlled email access as well, add the free PikLuk browser for email only. If the money matters, try one of the two options above.

Feedback Please

Please tell us all what you choose and how it works for you. (Leave a comment.)

And if you like this article, please pass it on to others using the options below. I’d appreciate it.

More than a week ago, a thought came to me that I ought to call Keith Meservy, my brother-in-law’s father, and tell him how much I’ve appreciated his example and scholarship over the years. Since moving to Kentucky and Virginia I hadn’t spoken to him, yet I was a better person because of our past association. His quiet, encouraging manner and careful attention to spiritual things left their mark on me.

Sunday, I received word that he passed away peacefully after a battle with leukemia.

I first knew of Keith’s scriptural scholarship when I read an article by him in the September 1977 Ensign of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was leaving or had just left on my mission, and his discoveries about ancient Assyrian writing answered a question that had puzzled me. The common LDS understanding of the prophecy in Ezekiel 37:15–17 seemed previously incomplete. (The “stick” of Joseph and “stick” of Judah are joined together, becoming one, and reuniting of the two branches of the House of Israel is then foretold.) Critics claimed that the sticks referred to scepters and not scrolls, hence the Book of Mormon could not be the “stick of Joseph.” Both explanations seemed out of place to me, yet both partly true. Only in the light of Keith’s article did the full beauty and literal nature of the prophecy become clear, and the truth in both perspectives opened to my view. His February 1987 article later filled in remaining answers in a seamless tapestry of truth.

As I read these articles, their tone resonates with what little I knew of the man—his quiet example, his expounding of truth in an unassuming and non-contentious, yet clear and unmistakable way. The truth speaks for itself, as did his life. There was no way you could know him and feel his character and not sense his quiet, humble conviction.

I cried when I heard of Keith’s passing because I knew it would likely be years before I could renew our acquaintance, but also partly because of the lost opportunity. My first blog article spoke of “missed opportunities” and wanting to mend them. Now, here were two more: failing to recognize and heed an ever-so-gentle prompting of the Spirit, and failing to renew an important friendship in mortality while I could.

Keith has moved on, but I’m sure his feet remained firmly on the path I sensed was his years ago, so there is no question in my mind what his destiny is and what he is doing now. I am certain that he, along with the other “faithful elders of this dispensation,” now continues his work “in the preaching of the gospel of repentance and redemption, through the sacrifice of the Only Begotten Son of God, among those who are in darkness and under the bondage of sin in the great world of the spirits of the dead.” (D&C 138: 57, see also all of D&C 138.)

For my part, I intend to stay on that path here, laboring on this side of the veil. Sometimes that work will involve remembering and emulating Keith’s example, and sometimes, when appropriate, sharing doctrinal and historical insights from him “unto the confounding of false doctrines and laying down of contentions, and establishing peace.” (2 Ne. 3:12.)

Feel the same way? Let me explain where I think this blog is headed in the months just ahead:

• Dating vs. Courting. We struggled with dating questions in non-LDS areas. Who do you date? When? Why? After much thought, prayer, and late-night discussions with more than one teenager, we’re excited about our answer. So were others in our ward and stake when they heard it. Maybe it will help your family too? (Preview: “Dating is a friend thing, courting is a marriage thing.”)
• Reviews of family-friendly technology and solutions. Keeping kids (and parents) safe takes some work nowadays, but fortunately, others have done it for us already.
• The Resurrection and the Atonement. Why was the atonement a prerequisite for the resurrection?
• Supermassive Black Holes and the Book of Abraham. (Yes, you read correctly.) Just discovered a decade ago, SMBH shed profound “light” both on the processes of galaxy formation and the Book of Abraham (cosmologically, symbolically, and especially spiritually).
• Exciting new ways to contribute to family history research. This is both for my very-extended family and everyone in general.
• Review of Ghandi: The Story of My Experiments with Truth. I recently read this and came away with great lessons about covenant making/keeping and consecration. There’s a lot to learn from Ghandi and our Hindu brothers and sisters.
• Discerning Truth. The “Mormon” Church believes in continuing revelation. However, since there is “opposition in all things,” continuing revelation implies that false revelation is also possible. How then, exactly, would we tell the difference between true and false revelation? And are there even more important considerations than that one in seeking, receiving, and following inspiration? (Yes.)
• Web site for Calvin P. and Elsie Midgley and Semilunar Biopsy Repair. We can get the word out about this groundbreaking surgery and the lives of these great people (Lake County, Illinois). It isn’t hard to do. Maybe somebody, somewhere, will pick up the ball and run with it. Without the help of those of us who know about it, those searching won’t find it, because the articles are now buried.

If any of this sounds interesting, I invite you to subscribe to this blog by clicking on the links at the very top right corner. Share your comments and thoughts, and we’ll explore these things together.

Then we bought a Mac.

What a rude awakening! Filtering options are limited in the Mac world. When I faced serious customer service issues with the most obvious choice (to the point of being afraid to call them!) I was motivated to search further. That was a serendipity.

The results: I found K9, from Blue Coat Systems, which now offers a robust filtering solution for the Mac. Better still, K9 (Mac or Windows) is completely free to families and home users. Highly recommended.

K9 offers an impressive, fully-customizable array of blocking categories, easy Web interface, usage reporting, email alerts of questionable use, a three-strikes-and-you’re-out option I’ve wanted for years, custom site overrides (permanent and temporary), P2P and IM monitoring, a safe search engine option that ensures search engines are accessed for the safest results, time limiting, anti-phishing, an online site rating checker (missing for NetNanny 5.6) and more.

Wow!

If you are a corporate or organizational user, you’ll need to buy a license (presumably after the beta period is over if you’re a Mac user). The single license price for non-home use is $30/year.

Feel free to post your own experiences and comments about K9 here.